I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
