somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize