Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
