just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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