You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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