Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
