I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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