dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
