That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
