Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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