So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
