im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
