I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
