people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
