Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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