I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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