i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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