IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
