is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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