She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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