tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
