should my penis look like a turkey
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
