just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
