butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
