he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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