the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
