There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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