Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
