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• (347): View more from New York

  Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one

  (347): View more from New York

  Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...

  (802): View more from Vermont

  do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.

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• (916): View more from California

  OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.

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• (619): View more from California

  I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.

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• (626): View more from California

  do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.

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• (925): View more from California

  I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.

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• (516): View more from New York

  i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level

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