your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
