how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
