he puts the penis in happiness.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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