i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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