its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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