My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
