Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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