and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
