He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
