Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
