Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
