My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
