UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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