You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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