Got a toothbrush?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
where are you?
Hypothermia
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
