Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This toilet bowl is my home.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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