around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
As shirtless as possible
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize