I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
