You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
