tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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