i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
